List of Barbies That Would be Funny to See April 16, 2008
Birkenstock Barbie: Finally, a Barbie doll with horizontal feet and comfortable sandals. Made from recyclable materials.
Bite-the-bullet Barbie: An anthropologist Barbie with pith helmet, camera, detachable limbs, fake blood, and the ability to perform surgery on herself in the Outback.
Blue Collar Barbie: Comes with overalls, protective goggles, luch pail, UAW Membership, pamphlet on union-organizing and pay scales for women as compared to men. Waitressing outfits and cashier’s aprons may be purchased separately for Barbies who are holding down second jobs in order to make ends meet.
Our Barbie Ourselves: Anatomically correct Barbie, both inside and out, comes with spreadable legs, her own speculum, magnifying glass, and detailed diagrams of female anatomy so that little girls can learn about their bodies in a friendly, non-threatening way. Also included: tiny Kotex, booklets on sexual responsibility. Accessories such as contraceptives, sex toys, expanding uterus with fetus at various stages of development, and breastpump are all optional, underscoring that each young woman has the right to chose what she does with her own Barbie.
Rebbe Barbie: So why not? Women rabbis are on the cutting edge in Judaism. Rebbe Barbie comes with a tiny satin yarmulke, prayer shawl, teffilin, silver kaddish cup, and Torah scrolls. Optional: tiny mezzuzah for doorway of Barbie Townhouse.
Transgender Barbie: Formerly known as G.I. Joe
Robotic Barbie: Hey, kids, experiment with an autonomous two-legged walking machine! After falling over, she says “Control theory is hard. Damn these spike heels away!”
Melrose Place Barbie: Comes complete with her Barbie Dream Apartment, where Skipper and the rest of the gang live rent-free. Other accessories include a bottle of vodka, silk sheets, and an arrest warrant.
Dr. Barbie, Medicine Woman: This helpful doll offers other homesteaders imporant tipcs like what conditioner to use out on the Plains and how to take care of their nails while shoeing a horse.
America’s Most Wanted Barbie: She’s on the run after 30 years of crime against feminism.
Oprah Barbie: Push a button on her back and this Barbie actially speaks! Hold your very own talk show with topics like how tough math class is, Ballerina Barbie’s struggle with bulimia and Ken’s who wear Barbie’s clothes.
My So-Called Barbie: She faces the same troubling issues as regular teens who don’t have huge wardrobes, perfect bods, pools, and ponies.
Murder, Barbie Wrote: Whenever this elder stateswoman of the Barbie set (she’s 27!) arrives in the playhouse, all the other dolls mysteriously dissapear.
This is one that I would personally like to see: A Barbie that is in college, wearing sensible clothes, that is anatomically correct and she hangs out with all the other dolls, no matter what their status. A Barbie that is well-rounded and has a great personality and decides to become whatever she wants to be. Whether is be a lawyer, surgeon, psychologist, etc.
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