The Jet Set Zen

A guide to being well-rounded while keeping your chi intact

Positive Body Image - Suprising stats and facts May 1, 2008

Did you know…

If show mannequins were real women, they’d be too thin to menstruate.

There are 3 billion women who don’t look like supermodels and only eight who do.

Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14.

If Barbie was a real woman, she’d have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.

The average American woman weighs 144 lbs. and wears between a size 12 and 14.

One out of every four college women has an eating disorder.

The models in magazines are AIRBRUSHED-they’re not perfect!!

A psychological study in 1995 found that three minutes spent looking at models in a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty, and shameful.

Models twenty years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman, today they weight 23% less.

“Don’t weight your self-esteem…it’s what inside that counts”

 

Fun Psychology Test April 21, 2008

Filed under: psychology — Vashti @ 11:36 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

You can take this on the web. I took it, and here were my results:

    
 

 

Independent    Unconventional    Unfettered

You demand a free and unattached life for yourself that allows you to determine your own course. You have an artistic bent in your work or leisure activities. Your urge for freedom sometimes causes you to do exactly the opposite of what expected of you.

Your lifestyle is highly individualistic. You would never blindly imitate what is “in”; on the contrary, you seek to live according to your own ideas and convictions, even if this means swimming against the tide.

Awesome.

If you’d like to take the test, here is the link: http://www.psicologi-psicoterapeuti.it/test/testpersonalita.html

Enjoy (and remember.. its just an online test).

 

HELP WITH A PROJECT - DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE ? DID YOU HAVE PARENTS? THIS IS FOR YOU! April 21, 2008

I am doing my senior thesis and need feedback.

I got three questions for you, and you post them here on the blog, or email them to me at pinkarma21@gmail.com if you want more privacy. I appreciate all the help.

I need your

1) gender and age

2) Where are you from? Where do you live?

3) Tell me about your worst day in college. What was your worst experience? What mistakes did you make that you feel were a result of your newly found independence? (You can answer all or one of these). Tell me your story.

4) What is something you wish your parents had taught you? It can be something that you learned on your own through experience or something that someone else taught you? Tell me your story.

 5) What is the most important thing you learned in college (that has nothing to do with classes or studying, or professors). If you could leave behind one sentence, one piece of advice to future college students, what would it be?

Once again, thanks. And I look forward to hearing your stories.

 

Roots of Neurosis in Childhood according to Karen Horney April 16, 2008

a. People who become neurotic basically  grow up in environments that are not safe. The dependence we have as infants creates a basic anxiety in all of us. If we are growing up in a family that does not provide a safe place fos us, we turn away from ourselves, develop a strategy for safety that makes us more vulnerable than ever.

b. Some things that cause neurosis:

1) Manipulative parents

2) Indifferent parents

3) Parents who offer no guidance

4) Parents who are harshly critical

5) Parents who force kids to take sides between them

6) Unkept promises - contributes to the feeling that you can’t count on people

7) 2 poles - either putting the child on a pedestal or not paying attention.

An environment which contains these elements translates to kids, “This isn’t safe.” They start to look for ways to be safe and this is the beginning of neurosis.

 

Karen Horney Quotes April 16, 2008

Filed under: psychology — Vashti @ 9:23 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

“Concern should drive us into action, not into a depression’

“Fortunately, analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist’

“Like all sciences and all valuations, the psychology of women has hitherto been considered only from the point of view of men”

“The perfect normal person is rare in our civilization”

 

Allport values and occupations that fit them April 16, 2008

Filed under: psychology — Vashti @ 8:58 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Different values serve for different occupations. This is what goes with each value according to Gordon Allport.

Helping people - social work

Search for truth - college professor

Pragmatic, applied - business

Artistic values - artist

Power and influence - politics

Religion, harmony - clergy

 

Interview on View of Self and Values April 16, 2008

A couple of introspective questions to learn a little bit more about yourself:

1. In your current daily life, what type of situation is more stressful to you–receiving a poor grade on an exam in a class in your major or having a friend say something hurtful or rejecting to you? Why?

2. What is more important to your self-esteem–being supportive to your friends and romantic partner or being talented as a student? Why?

3. In your romantic relationships, how do you prefer to be with this person? Fused at the hip? Very independent? Somewhat in between the two (very close, but having your own personal space).

4. When you picture yourself ten years from now, what is more important to you–having a succesful career or a meaningful romantic relationship? If you had to choose between a once in a lifetime career opportunity on the West Coast and a person that you loved who lived out East, which one would you pick? Why?

 

Disney Film’s Evolutionary Representation of Women in Films: From Prissy Princesses to Fighting Warriors April 14, 2008

When I was a young girl, my parents kept me from watching television at all costs. They wanted to protect me from violence on television and other factors that they believed were not appropriate for the eyes of a small child. My parents wanted me to be as unspoiled by society as possible. Because of this, like many children, I was limited to a variety of films created by the Wonderful World of Disney. Disney, of course, is one of the main “princess film” factories. Little did my parents know, along with many others, that their children were being influenced with ideas that would later have an effect in their behavior within society.
Most of us have seen these Disney Corporation films. Films such as Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are among favorites for little girls for the last 50-60 years. These films all have a common theme, along with more recent films such as Aladdin and Little Mermaid. The female protagonist in each of these films is seen as a “Disney princess”, but oddly enough, traits such as submissiveness and servitude are represented in these films, contrary to expected traits of power and command which are typical in upper-class and royalty. However, since the premiere of Snow White in 1937 and the latest “role model princess” Fiona in Shrek in 2001, we have seen some changes in the portrayal of Disney Princesses.
This essay will focus on ten very popular Disney films: Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Pocahontas, Mulan and Shrek and Shrek 2. These films were presented to the public starting in the year 1937 up until 2004. Throughout the last 70 years we have seen many changes concerning women’s rights and privileges. Through these animated films we can observe a change in the representation of a Disney princess and the way they represent women. Although the stereotypes still exist within the films we can see that there has been some progress in the way women are portrayed, even in an animated film.
Let us begin with Disney’s first animated feature film, starring a lovely young princess named Snow White, which came out in the year 1937. Snow White was forced to run from her home due to her step-mother’s insane jealousy. The evil Queen wanted to be the fairest of them all so she ends up hiring a “hit man” to murder her step-daughter while she is picking flowers by herself in the forest. Snow White flees and finds a small house which she ends up cleaning and tiding up for seven dwarves that work as miners. Here we see the stereotypical role of the housewife who cares for her hardworking man (or in this case, men). Later, when her stepmother realizes that Snow White is still alive, she decides to take matters into her own hands and makes a trip to the Seven Dwarves home and gives Snow White a poisoned apple (which she so innocently eats and immediately falls in an eternal slumber). However, all is not lost! The beautiful princess is saved when she receives a kiss from the prince, and they live happily ever after. Typical boy meets girl, girl gets in trouble, boy saves girl story.
A similar story occurs in Cinderella (1950), in which a young and beautiful servant girl is kept socially isolated and in servitude to her evil step-mother and step-sisters (who, like Snow White’s step-mother, are jealous of her beauty). Cinderella feels like she has a duty to a family that she acquired through her father’s marriage (who is nowhere to be found) and feels like she has no escape. She finds herself in luck when a fairy godmother comes to help her attend the ball and meet the prince, which seems to be her only escape from poverty. At this ball she meets the prince who becomes enamored of her due to her novelty and beauty - he had never seen her until the ball. The prince, however, can only seem to find the princess with the glass slipper that she has lost; it seems that he forgot both her face and her voice and cant seem to recognize her without her shiny blue dress. Both Snow White and Cinderella are classical narratives of social mobility. The notion that women rise in the social world because of the man they “snatch” or become attached to is very clear in both of these films. Both these women use social mobility as an escape from poverty into the luxurious life of a princess.
Both these tales are ones in which the main character is punished for being beautiful and forced into a servant or common role by a jealous mother or family member until she is rescued by a handsome prince. The same can be said of Sleeping Beauty (1959). She is cast into poverty due to a spell, cast upon her by an evil witch who in fact is also jealous of all the attention Princess Aurora receives. Aurora’s parents are forced to send her to the forest to live with three fairy godmothers (who by the way can change the color of the princess’ clothing, but are unable to help her with all the chores she is forced to do to keep their little country house running). The princess meets her prince in the forest one day but is later tricked into entering a castle and fulfilling the spell that was cast upon her many years ago. Like in Snow White, the princess is portrayed as gullible and naïve. Even though she knows of this spell and the reason why she is exiled she is easily duped and seems to find the only sewing machine in which to prick her tiny little finger. However, there is hope for the silly little princess. The prince barges into the castle on his valiant steed, battles the evil witch and manages to destroy the spell with a mere kiss and rescue the princess and mend her stupid mistake. In both Snow White and Sleeping Beauty we see a classic example of a submissive female. The princesses are portrayed as helpless women who must simply wait. They lie back, close their eyes, and wait to be saved. If life we’re only that easy. Sleeping Beauty is definitely a perfect example of a helpless and useless female that accepts and does not question anything that happens to her. To become the princess who lives happily ever after with a prince she does absolutely nothing.
Next on the list is The Little Mermaid (1989). Ariel is the first princess to break out of the obedient and submissive princess stereotype. Unlike the previously mentioned princesses she demonstrates stubbornness and defiance. She crosses the boundaries set forth by her father, and unlike her sisters who spend their free time combing their hair and preparing for concerts, Ariel explores her surroundings and wishes to learn more about the outside world. However, this film is a perfect example of beauty over brains, or even personality. The Little Mermaid is the movie in which the hot redhead in the shell bra makes a deal with the evil witch Ursula and decides to trade in her voice for a pair of legs, in hopes that she can nab Prince Eric. Surprisingly, she is able to make him fall in love with her despite the fact that (or perhaps, because) she had no voice. What is this movie telling little girls? As long as you are beautiful like Ariel there is no need to even speak, men will simply fall at your feet. Once again, in this film the role of the delicate and submissive female is represented. In every film we have analyzed so far the princess has a fundamentally passive role: she is waiting to be picked, saved, found, rescued, and taken from a life of servitude, poverty and isolation.
In Beauty and the Beast we begin to see a change. Belle is a woman who seeks knowledge but is clearly criticized by all the townspeople when they break into song saying that she always “has her head stuck in a book,” and that she is “odd,” mainly because she refuses to marry the most desirable bachelor in town: the big and strong Gaston. Gaston merely wishes to have Belle as his trophy wife, because she is the most beautiful girl in town. But Belle sees past his façade and, unlike the other town maidens, sees him for what he truly is: a buffoon. In this film, Belle yearns for “something more than this provincial life”, and thinks of ways in which she can escape her small town in France and live a life more like those she finds in the books she reads. Belle is criticized because of her dreams and aspirations and is seen as odd by those around her because and doesn’t fit in to her society’s expectations. And as Gaston clearly puts it, “you won’t have time to read when you are taking care of our three strapping boys”. Clearly this is not what Belle wants, but it is what society deems as the correct path for a young lady.
However, through various tragic occurrences, Belle ends up living in the Beast’s castle in exchange for her father’s release. She is imprisoned, but with time, begins to sooth the savage beast and even prefers him to the handsomest man in her village. She is much braver and more assertive than Snow White, Cinderella or Aurora, but is still rewarded for her beauty and valor with the same end: she is a princess that will live happily ever after with a prince in a life of luxury and adventure like she had dreamed of.
Despite Belle’s assertiveness and intelligence, she manages to make her transition from poverty to wealth through the same means as Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty: marriage.
In Aladdin (1992) marriage is also one of the main themes. Jasmine is being forced into marriage by her father because of royal law. Jasmine refuses to marry the many rich suitors that try and court her; she insists she wants to marry for love. She doesn’t want to marry for financial stability or status seeing as she has had this all her life. With hopes of trading her restricted life for one of adventure and excitement, she chooses to run away from her life of luxury and meets Aladdin, a poor street-rat. Although Jasmine is more assertive than past princesses, she still achieves her goals through the same means as Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. She only finds the adventure she seeks through a man: Aladdin. Later on, when she is taken prisoner by an evil sorcerer who takes over the kingdom, she merely waits to be saved from certain death by Aladdin and his wits.
Unlike the previously mentioned films, the person who benefits from the marriage is Aladdin, who will now live a life of luxury as a result of his marriage to Jasmine. This situation is similar to the type of contract that was done during the 19th century in which women needed a dowry in order to attract a suitable husband. A woman with no dowry was seen as undesirable and was unlikely to marry rich or find a suitable husband. Another important point is demonstrated in Aladdin: a woman cannot rule without a husband.
Until Aladdin, no woman from a non-European background had been represented. Jasmine was the first non-white woman to be represented in a Disney film, even more so as a princess. Aladdin was the first film in a series of more global representations of women. Pocahontas (1995) followed suit as the daughter of a Native American chief, and is represented as a strong and independent woman whose life is changed with the arrival of the English. More importantly than the fact that now women of different cultures are being represented, it is the fact that when faced with the decision to choose between her love interest, John Smith, and her people, she decides to stay behind. Pocahontas is the first Disney Princess to make a decision that is not seen as “beneficial” for a woman (which would be leaving her home and moving to England, to a place in which she could have a “better” and “more civilized” life). This ending is a breakthrough for both Disney and for the role models that young girls now have. Pocahontas decides to stay with her people and act as a mediator between the New World and the Old World – a very progressive role for a female in a Disney Film. However, many of the viewers of this film may not like this ending because it doesn’t fall into the typical “happily ever after” ending often associated with this type of film. Pocahontas is rarely considered a Disney Princess, and rarely falls among the favorites of little girls when given the choice between Pocahontas and other princesses like Cinderella or Snow White.
The new wave of Disney Princess films - Aladdin (1992), Pocahontas (1995) and Mulan (199 8) - are notable for their adaptation of stories or characters from non-Western cultures. Aladdin’s Princess Jasmine isn’t groundbreaking, essentially because she’s not the main character, and in many ways is Aladdin’s trophy.
However, in Mulan (1998), she is no one’s trophy. To me, this film is truly the first groundbreaking Disney film in which a woman is seen as capable of taking on the same roles as men and becomes detached from her family and society; something that is rarely seen even today, due to the type of culture that is established in China). Mulan breaks social boundaries and expectations and becomes a soldier in the Chinese Imperial Army. Mulan disguises herself as a man so that she is able to join the army and replace her father in a time of war (a crime punishable by death). Unlike other Disney films, there is not much romance in the film, mostly because she is disguised as a man. However, Mulan is a perfect example of female empowerment, and the first film in which the woman has no need to be rescued by a man. She takes control of her own life and chooses to go against her society’s expectations (preparing to find a good husband and training to be a good wife). Luckily, she saves the Emperor from the Huns. Had she not, she would have most likely been killed.
Mulan, by Disney standards, is revolutionary. She is not European and she does not hold ideals of demure maidenhood. She is sort of a Chinese Joan of Arc. By disguising herself as a man, she saves China from invading Huns and restores her family’s honor. Even though she doesn’t “snatch” a man by the end of the story, she manages to live happily ever after knowing that she helped her family and served her country.
As time progresses between each film, women take more control over their destinies. (Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, all had to wait to be rescued, as was the little Mermaid). Starting with Beauty and the Beast, we begin to see some change. Belle refuses to marry the big and strong Gaston, and loves to read - even the villagers comment that she is odd, with her “head always stuck in a book”. She is criticized for not wanting to marry Gaston the buffoon. Same situation occurs in Aladdin. Jasmine refuses to marry any suitor simply because it is required by law. She wishes to marry for love. However, she ends up being the “trophy wife” to Aladdin, who will later acquire the throne to Agraba. Later on we see more independent women like Pocahontas and Mulan, who take fate into their own hands and defy typical social expectations.
Finally, one of Disney’s most recent films, Shrek 2 (2004), and its enormously successful predecessor, Shrek (2001), take the moral of Beauty and the Beast to the next step. If true beauty reflects moral worth, the hero and the heroine might as well be ogres. The heroine is still a princess, though.
Shrek 2 turns the whole transformation tale and the notion of beauty on its head, when Princess Fiona, now the ogress wife of Shrek, takes her new husband to meet her parents, the King and Queen of Far Far Away. They are more than a little dismayed when two ogres arrive, rather than a beautiful princess and her handsome husband. The moral is of course that true beauty lies within and not on the surface. But this understanding of the connection between beauty and goodness has always been an integral part of the princess tale. It’s one of Western culture’s immediate visual signifiers: beauty equals worthiness, ugliness equals wickedness.
Shrek is the latest in a series of “princess films”. In the first film we see Shrek rescuing Fiona. She was taught since infancy that her purpose in life was to wait in a tower for a handsome prince on his valiant steed that would save her from the dragon and be her true love. As the film progresses we see that Fiona is quite different and does not fall into the typical stereotype of a princess. She is independent and can defend herself from dangerous situations as seen in a fight scene in the first Shrek film with Robin and his Merry Men. She is also not the typical delicate female. She enjoys eating and burps on occasion, surprising Shrek the Ogre. However, later on in the film we learn that she was in fact, also an ogre, and that her beautiful daytime appearance was due to a spell that was cast when she was a child. At the end of the film, she chooses Shrek as her husband and turns into an Ogre permanently. Here we see the female take control over her destiny and decide that personal, internal happiness is more important than external appearances. This is the first movie in which inner beauty is valued and the princess is not “rescued” to have a better life. However, Fiona remains a princess with a privileged life.
Unfortunately, many women today hold a “princess attitude”, and aspire to have a princess type of life. This attitude can be seen among some girls and young women. They often believe that marrying well, especially financially, is desirable, so they can easily live the life of a princess. This may very well be an effect caused by the women that are presented to us in these films since early childhood.
Although the way in which women are presented in Disney films has progressed throughout time, there is yet to be a true role model for women that demonstrates that: 1) a woman does not need a man to be happy (whether married or not), 2) that a woman does not need a man to achieve success (whether it be personal or financial), and 3) beauty isn’t everything. Personality, intelligence and education are very important factors in determining success in life. Until Disney can find a way to represent this in their films, I am not sure if I want my daughters and future generations of women to be exposed to these films. Children are like sponges, and how to be a prissy princess is certainly not educational material.

 

Anti-Gay Violence and Walter’s First Prong April 14, 2008

Filed under: My Writing, psychology — Vashti @ 10:39 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

A gay man was assaulted on February 8th in Chelsea, New York. This assault was not classified as biased by the police, even though offensive language was used. In this incidence, Dennis Beauchemin, 41, was walking home from a local gay bar with a friend at 4:30am when a van ran a red light at 10th avenue and 23rd street, nearly hitting them. Mr. Beauchemin said something like “hey watch it!” and walked away. But the van, with three men inside it followed them. The van door opened and the men inside it started yelling out the word ‘faggot’ and throwing bottles at them. Mr. Beauchemin ran to his apartment on West 25th street thinking his friend was right behind him, but he wasn’t. When he decided to go back and look for him he realized that the van was turning around towards him again. Two men stepped out of the van and grabbed Mr. Beauchemin. One guy said ‘I’ll get you faggot’ and smashed a full beer bottle against Mr. Beauchemin’s head. The three men proceeded to kick him while he lay on the ground, defenseless. The bottle crushed his brow and part of his cheekbone, and he lost his left eye. Mr. Beauchemin will not be able to undergo reconstructive surgery because of his low white-blood-cell count, seeing as he is HIV positive.
People seem to have different explanations as to why any human being would be capable of causing harm to another, for no apparent reason. Some might argue that the men in the truck were drunk, or even bored. Others would say that some people are just born with bad intentions. James Waller believes otherwise. Within his book “Becoming Evil: How Ordinary People Commit Genocide and Mass Killings”, he speaks of four separate prongs that are intended to answer the question: “What forces shape our responses to authority?” One of these is the prong of ‘Ancestral Shadow’. This prong speaks of three different characteristics that could possibly drive a human being into committing a heinous crime, such as attacking an innocent man, merely because of the fact that he is gay. These characteristics are: ethnocentrism, xenophobia and the desire for social dominance.
Ethnocentrism can be described as the belief in the inherent superiority of one’s own ethnic group or culture. It can also be a tendency to view alien groups of cultures from the perspective of one’s own. It can also be defined as an overriding concern with race. This can be tied into anti-gay violence in more ways than one. The men that were in the van that night, clearly believed that they were above Dennis Beauchemin, when they assaulted and beat him without being provoked. These men truly believed that they had the right to attack a man based on his sexual orientation that in truth was not completely certain, since there is no specific physical or external way of determining whether a man is gay or not. The fact of the matter is, these men felt they were above Dennis, and had the right to “punish” him because of his difference.
Xenophobia is also clearly demonstrated by this act of hate. The unreasonable “fear” and hatred that these men feel towards homosexual men was expressed through rage and anger. These men had no reason to hate Dennis, who was merely walking back to his apartment on West 25th street. Perhaps a fear of Dennis “spreading his gayness” or “contaminating their city” caused these men to try and “beat it out of him”. Their hatred is clearly demonstrated by the use of offensive slurs such as ‘faggot’ and deliberately trying to harm Dennis and his friend while driving in the van, and stepping out of the vehicle to beat him, and finally causing the victim to lose an eye.
The desire for social dominance is intertwined with the aforementioned characteristics. The perpetrators of this heinous crime clearly believe that homosexuality should be the norm, and thus eliminate all those that do not fit into this predisposed social norm. This desire for social dominance comes from the fact that these men are unable to accept a simple piece of common knowledge: Each of us is like no other human being…each of us is like some other human beings…and each of us is like all other human beings (Waller, 136).
Incidents like this could be avoided if people, such as the men who committed this hate crime, would stop, think, and try to put themselves in the other person’s situation. To ask themselves questions such as: “Would I like it if someone were to do this to me?” or “Why am I doing this, if this person did nothing at all to harm me”. Sometimes people find it hard to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Most people do not have a developed sense of empathy, and therefore find it very difficult to visualize themselves in situations that they might never find themselves in. I do not think that there is a way of treating evil that already exists, but I do believe that evil can be prevented. I think that parents, teachers, and other influential figures in society need to start setting an example for today’s youth. People are not born with hateful and violent tendencies. These types of thoughts and behaviors are learned and “inherited” through friends, family and peers.
When I reflect on any evil tendencies I might have had regarding Waller’s first prong, I can thankfully say, there is none. I guess I was lucky enough to grow up surrounded by an accepting culture. Thankfully, growing up in Puerto Rico, I can say that racism, bigotry and hate crimes are not a very common occurrence. It is simply not a problem amongst our people.
The fact remains: once every person can come to the realization that we are all human, and learn to see each person only as a human being, and nothing else, disregarding race, nationality, ethnicity, sexual preference, political party, etc., perhaps then, we can acquire unity and take action to achieve world peace.

 

Nonverbal Communication Clues April 14, 2008

1. Shaking hands: a firm handshake indicates confidence. Downward facing palms indicate control. Upward facing palms show submisiveness.

2. Defensiveness: Closed fists can also be a sign of nervousness. Crossed legs in a slight kicking motion signifies boredome or impatience.

3. Openness: A man, who is open or friendly and feels agreement is near, will unbutton his coat and then take it off.

4. Evaluation: An interested person’s body leans forward and his head slightly tilts. The body leaning forward is a sign of interest.

5. Suspicion and Secretiveness: left-handed gestures are associated with dishonesty. Touching or rubbing the nose, usually with the left index finger, is a sign of doubt or non-truth on the part of the speaker. Rubbing behind or beside the left ear with the index finger when weighing an answer, indicates doubt. Tugging at the left eye with the left index finger says, “Do not see very clearly what I’m saying, because I’m lying to you”.

6. Honesty: Looking in the person’s eye when speaking, touching gestures (also indicates anchoring).

7. Frustration: Short breaths. “tsk”, the sound usually made to communicate disgust. Tightly clenched hands. Wringing of the hands.

8. Confidence: steepling. Hands joined together at waist behind back. Elevating oneself.

9. Boredom: drumming on table. Tapping with feet. Head in hand. Doodling. Wringing of a crossed feet.

10. Nervousness: Clearing throat. “whew” sound. Whistling. Fidgeting in chair. Tugging at pants while sitting. Tugging at ear. Clenched fist. Wringing of the hands. Frequent touching of self while speaking to others. Swinging of crossed feet.